Online dating article » Relationship

Speed Dating Study

admin — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 05:35:03 +0000

For a long time it was stated that when you make someone understand that you like him/her, that person will automatically like you in turn. Well, it was recently discovered that this rule of reciprocal attraction needs to be rectified a little bit for romantic relationships.
The statistics claim that the more you show your romantic desires towards all the people you like, the more they tend to reject you. (Could the reason be the fact that in these cases you look too desperate and obsessed?)

And vice versa, you aren’t usually rejected when you see no other potential partners around you besides the one you desire. (Now, at least this is what calms one down.)
What has been at the base of novels and art through all the times if not the physical chemistry and romance? That’s why social psychologists and all kinds of investigators have spent their time in searching for answers and observing the speed-daters as it was a lot harder observing the romantic attraction at the beginning of a relationship.
Paul W.Eastwick, a graduate student in psychology and the main author of this study, says, ”Unselective potential romantic partners are much less successful than selective partners who show that only you are someone really special for them. Our study consists of letting our speed-daters put all this in practice with a time of only 4 minutes for every date.”
“It’s something astonishing, the way a speed-dater is able to find out in just four minutes to what point the other person likes him and even to what point the speed-dater is unique and special for that person,” Finkel said. “Now this is something we can’t find the answer to for it’s beyond our imagination.”
The experiment which was meant to uncover the mystery of the importance of the first minutes of physical attraction was set up as following: 156 participants (students) had four-minute speed dates with 9-13 persons of the opposite sex. After each date they had to complete a questionnaire where they had to mention if they were attracted physically to the persons of the opposite sex, if they liked them and to what degree.
All the participants have entered the study Web site in the following and they have mentioned which of the persons they speed-dated they would like to meet with again. The ones whose “yeses” were mutual were given each other’s contacts.
Finkel concluded that, “A romantic relationship differs of a friendship by the fact that unlike in a friendship, the “all-loving” persons may seem desperate in a romantic relationship.”
Eastwick’s addition to this was, “That is, when you want to make someone be attracted to you, you will lose if you play the unselective person.”
The final conclusion of this experiment is as it follows from the previously said, “Reciprocity in romantic relationships doesn’t need the same criteria as reciprocity in friendships. It is only acquired when the potential partner is made to understand his unique and special role in one’s life.”

A New Kind of Dating Nowadays

admin — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 21:58:56 +0000

Time has become a social problem nowadays, you often hear someone saying, “I don’t have time for this and that”. Unfortunately, this running out of time is being reflected on our personal life too. One of the solutions to this problem is “speed dating” – a new kind of dating, of which the following article will inform you.
Considering the high rate of divorces among the population and the joint between love and marriage, why reckon dating to be sound and problem less?
Let me introduce you the notion of speed dating, the one that allows one to meet up to ten new people in one single evening.
Each date lasts only seven minutes, that’s why speed dating is so different from other typical meetings of new people. Another major difference between them is that, unlike the meeting of singles in bars, for example, people who use speed dating know perfectly well their objective.

The Game Itself
So what does this game of speed dating consist of? It’s very simple. All the participants (all of them should be single) gather in a certain place, it could be a caf?r something like that. They pair up and begin their dates. The subjects of their conversations exclude their careers and home addresses.
These conversations last only seven minutes each and, at the end of them, the couples are paired differently and the next seven-minutes-dates begin.
After every date finishes, all the speed daters answer on a card to the question whether they would like to meet their date again. And if this interest is reciprocal, the organizers give the telephone numbers to the daters.
Some Words About the Origin of Speed Dating
For the first time, speed dating was organized by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo in 1999, it being based on a Jewish tradition meant to prevent the Jewish singles from marrying people of other faiths except theirs. It consisted of gatherings of young Jewish people. Next, this kind of tradition spread all over the globe.
Speed dating easily substitutes the blind dates and bar scenes, it is much more interesting and resentful.
What Are the Results of Speed Dating?
The results of these speed dates were absolutely positive for approximately half of the speed daters. Some people might say that it’s pretty boring to repeat the same quick conversations several times during the same evening, but it is considered that there also is another reason responsible for the success of the date, that is physical attraction or chemistry, you might call it.
One disadvantage of this new form of matchmaking is that seven minutes is quite a short time to get to know someone. Sometimes, people whom we reject after these seven minutes of speed dating could easily be right for us if we knew them better.
And vice versa-you might have been impressed and enraptured of someone you’ve dated for seven minutes, but after a longer time of knowing each other you realize that this Mr. or Ms.Right is not really as it seems.
In spite of this, speed dating is becoming more and more popular nowadays, achieving new and new points. Could this be a new revolution?

Older Women Dating Younger Men (Part II)

admin — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 04:31:31 +0000

The statistics say today that every other marriage ends in divorce, which leaves single many men and women in their 40s, 50s and 60s. If men in their 40s and up want to date only women in their 20s and 30s (which is very frequent nowadays), who should the women in their 40s and up date then? Unlike men dating younger women, women dating younger men are still considered to be “cradle robbers”. Now, is this fair? A mature man can do whatever he wants, while a mature woman “must know her age and place”. Just because a woman is mature that doesn’t mean she has to sit in a chair and knit all day long. The mature and modern woman of today doesn’t care at all about “what the neighbors might say”, she is strong and self-confident, and she perfectly knows what she’s looking for and what does her happiness consist of. So, society should get used to the idea of older women dating and marrying younger men, for older women need to be happy too and they really don’t worry about what people say when they don’t agree with their way of thinking and doing things.
But why would a young man want to date an older woman? This is a very frequent question, but it has an answer according to some younger men, that have been and are dating older women. They say that older women are much more mature and trustworthy, they are strong and independent, and they don’t need a man to take care of them. They have had more experience and they believe in themselves. Older women care less about men’s money than younger women do. They tell them straightly in the face all that they think and they don’t play mind games with men, by pretending to be someone they’re not and then, later, showing their real face. Actually, these couples of younger men and older women have always existed; it’s just that they have been kept in secret till now. Today, it’s not a secret anymore and it is to be considered a normal state of things.
When young men are dating older women, these women tell them exactly what they want and expect from them. Thus, men know pretty well where they stand and what kind of relationship they have and they know when this relationship gets too serious or not. Mature women don’t usually play games, they just don’t have time for this and this isn’t what they want. They are looking for having some fun with persons that are interested in the same things that they are. Older women don’t care about younger men that are embarrassed to be seen with women like them, of their age. They would rather be alone than date this kind of young men, for whom the age difference is so important. And then, they easily move on, looking more on for somebody who doesn’t worry about the age difference.
Many people think that the only possible reason of a younger man dating an older woman is sack but this is only a half of the answer. Yes, women reach their sex maturity in their 30s and 40s and they are less inhibited during sex at this age. They know very well what they like and what they don’t and they’re always ready to try new things. Mature women are also looking a lot better today than they used to years ago, they pay a lot more attention to their bodies. And even if their bodies don’t look like 20-years old girls bodies, their younger daters claim that their experience is a lot more than that and supplies for it.
The most of mature women nowadays are not planning to make other families, and to have more babies, because they have spent their youth by doing it. But there are, of course, other cases of older women who haven’t had their families yet and these women may be eager to start a family. The perfect partner for her would be a young man, whose career isn’t so important for him and who would agree to stay at home and look after the kids. Another reason of young men dating older women is that they have a lot more things to discuss about and their conversations are a lot more interesting and fun. Older girlfriends are also not afraid of trying new things, going to new places. They are more experienced and have a lot of great things to share. Anyway, is the reason what it may be, (sometimes it may even be a combination of many reasons), it’s only the choice of young men to date an older woman or not. Why should age be an obstacle in the way of the happiness of two people, when they find many things in common and when they like each other? Life is complicated well enough and age shouldn’t be an inconvenient for people who just want to be happy and that’s all.

Read more about Older Women Dating Younger Men:
Older Women Dating Younger Men (Part I)
Dating an Older Woman
7 Tips for Dating Older Woman

Older Women Dating Younger Men (Part I)

admin — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 01:56:54 +0000

A long time ago, men used to date women that were younger than them, often even half their age. Today its women who date men younger than them, sometimes even of the ages of their sons. This is already a common state of things and it happened thanks to some great dating tips for women that the roles of the two sexes have changed.
It is very unfair to admit men dating younger women and to repel women dating younger men. Why can’t the women do what men have been doing for years and which was considered to be common and normal for them?
There isn’t any difference in that and it is time for women to stop thinking about what the rest of the people think about their relationships. It’s time for women to be happy in their turn and here are a lot of reasons to do it:

Fun and Excitement – A Little Get Up and Go
After a woman has finally raised her children and after having given up a lot of interesting things, such as parties, trips and new activities, she needs to have a life of her own. She would rather choose to go looking for an adventure than sit next to a man of her age in front of the TV, watching David Letterman!
No, no, we don’t have anything against David Letterman, but a woman feels the need to go out, to dress up appropriately and feel to be a woman, so when she’ll have to choose between an old man resting at home and a younger man that usually goes out on Saturday night, she will choose the second one. Of course, there are also exceptions, but the most of women would prefer a nice, exciting adventure.
Responsibilities and Baggage
The most important advantage in dating younger men is that they don’t have as many responsibilities and problems as the older men do. These problems and responsibilities include financial support for their children, ex-wives and a lot more of other excess past baggage. That’s why older men won’t want to take on their shoulders any more responsibilities for they are hardly moving on with their own. Younger men usually are not yet introduced to these chapters of their lives, so when having to choose between a younger and an older man a woman will surely want to choose the younger one, for he is free of problems.
There are, of course, young men with a past baggage of problems too, but these problems are usually not as big as an older man’s. Still, there are a lot of young men in this world with no baggage at all!
Better Sex
This may sound rude and exaggerated to the most of mature men, and they may even feel insulted by it, but this is the way the things are going. Once the years pass, a man begins to lose his forces, his energy and even desire, which he has had when being young. Usually younger men are more interested in sex than older men are, and, vice versa, older women are more interested in sex than younger women are. Once women mature, they get more stable and self-confident, who makes them “feel sexy”. This truth might create diversions and opposite opinions, but it still remains the truth.
The main difference between younger and older men is that younger men usually have this willingness to experiment and the indifference about what other people say. Younger men also don’t pay so much attention to the body, so even when you are worried about your few extra pounds, it doesn’t matter, because sex is all that matters to them!

Dating tips for women help, but you will need to find the right one for you. So, after all that has been said above, maybe it’s time for you to look for a younger man!

Read more about Older Women Dating Younger Men:
Dating an Older Woman
7 Tips for Dating Older Woman

Use Technology to Connect, Not Disconnect!

admin — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 05:58:22 +0000

Nowadays we live in a high technologically advanced world. Technology helps us to save a lot of time, to make communication much easier, to hear a lot of world news just staying in front of our computer or TV, without exiting our houses. Maybe we don’t realize it, but technology has a big role in our lives, just try to imagine a day without electricity: no light, no TV, no computer, no machine working in the house, it seems to be terrible, isn’t so? Nowadays we can make the acquaintance of people from other countries, seeing each other through webcams, without visiting that country, and it’s much easier to make friends through communication technology than to approach a foreigner on the street and ask his/her name. These technologies became usual for us, but unthinkable for our forefathers.
Although it seems very attractive, interesting, and useful, it has some disadvantages. For example people may get used to chatting and forget about real, natural relationships, person-to-person interaction which has a very important role in our life: touching, feeling each other, making families- the foundation of our society. We shouldn’t abuse with the technology, otherwise we’ll live in a virtual world, making virtual love and forgetting about our destination on the Earth. That’s why we recommend you to find a balance between high-tech chatting and good old fashioned one-to-one communication. This balance helps us to make strong and lasting relationships with our lovers, friends or family.
There you can find three ways of using efficiently communication technology to connect with new people or just to stay in touch with your old friends. But we’ll also try to warn you about the risk of the abuse of technology. Don’t forget about life contact!

Use Technology to Bring You Closer Together

1) Email Every Day
Keeping in touch every day will bring a big advantage for the couple because they will know that their relationship is still alive, and it’s very strong. It doesn’t take much time to write some lines to the person you are thinking about. It’s a great pleasure to receive almost every day some lovely words from the person you value or even love. A little time and a great pleasure! Isn’t it wonderful? Sometimes you will not have an immediate response, but you shouldn’t worry, maybe the person was busy at that moment or he/she wants to lengthen the suspense because it makes the relation stronger and lasting.

2) Make use of a Web Cam
To feel closer to the person you are talking to on the Internet, you should acquire a web cam. In this situation you will be able to see each other’s facial expressions, the reactions to the words. If combining an Internet phone service and a web cam you will get a better connection with the person you are talking to, it’s like sitting face-to-face, but unfortunately without the possibility to touch each other. Although it brings a lot of advantages, this is a great pleasure to see your girlfriend or your boyfriend smiling, or just reacting to your words when to you spend time far apart. A web cam adds a lot of advantages to phone calling. When you just get acquainted with a new person on the Internet you can see whether you like him/her or not and make up your mind about the future relationships.

3) Take Full Advantage of Your Mobile Phone
The technology has developed a lot and the mobile phones nowadays aren’t just simple phones to make a voice connection. The majority of them have a lot of functions beside this, such as sms, mms, Internet, so you can take full advantage of them. You can either write a short text message or send a picture of yours, or send a song, a video. Nowadays you can check your email using a mobile telephone, don’t forget about it, and make use of each possibility that may connect you and make your relationship stronger. Of course you shouldn’t forget about the traditional destination of a telephone: call your lover from time to time.

*Warning
Don’t abuse with technological advantages, you should keep in your mind that face-to-face interaction will never be replaced by emailing, online chatting, even video scenes. The best way to show your affection is real contact. Only in this manner you can share your tenderness, your gentleness. Use technology as an addition to the relationship, not as a substitute.

Added Bonus – The Snail Mail!
Maybe you have never thought about it, but it’s your chance to show additional attention to the person you love. It will be an unexpected surprise and you will make a strong impression. You can either send a letter or a card with some special meaning. The email will note have such a strong effect as the simple letter because it has become too common.

Three-Five-minute speed date has couple rushing to the altar

admin — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 07:06:00 +0000

His claim to make the world’s best lasagna may have closed the deal. Or it could have been his poetry recitals? She was also amused by his doodles of his nasty sporting injuries on a napkin.

Whichever one of his qualities caught her eye, he certainly made an impression. A few text messages, a two-and-a-half-hour telephone call, a dinner date or three and just 20 days later, they became engaged.

When they walk down the aisle for a traditional Catholic service at St Francis Xavier’s in Hereford in August, Mario Bassi and Caroline Eversham will become one of the first couples in Britain to marry after meeting at a speed dating event.

Speed dating involves 20 to 25 single men each being given three-five minutes to woo each of an equal number of single women. Those who later express a mutual interest are put in touch with each other by the organizers.

The phenomenon, an American import, took off among young, wealthy and time-poor Londoners early last year. Now close to 10,000 people of different ages and backgrounds attend events in over 40 British towns and cities every month.

With around 20 couples engaged to marry this year as a result, speed dating is about to leave its novelty status behind to claim a place as a serious and mainstream form of 21st century courtship.

Mr Dassi, from Hereford but of Italian descent, decided to get serious about finding a partner on reaching his mid-thirties, having spent the previous four years focusing on building up his management consultancy business.

He and a friend paid £20 for tickets for an event run in the Zeta cocktail bar at the Hilton hotel in Mayfair, central London.

Mr Dassi, 36, said: “When I saw Caroline there was an immediate physical attraction. She was confident, spoke first and took control.

“We quickly moved beyond the surface level and talked about values such as honesty, empathy and passion which we were both looking for.

“I can honestly say I knew after those three minutes that I wanted to have a long-term relationship with her.”

Miss Eversham, a special needs teacher from Reading, was there with two colleagues from St Mary’s Primary in Islington, north London.

Her first potential suitor spilt his drink over her. “The first two or three encounters were a bit awkward,” she said. “They were nice enough but there were a few too many hedge fund managers in suits.

“I spotted Mario across the room and felt a strong attraction, almost a sense of recognition. The three minutes passed quickly but we covered a lot of ground. I felt thoroughly entertained.”

There followed a modern whirlwind romance involving e-mails, text messages and long telephone conversations.

The relationship blossomed and 20 days later, after a few glasses of wine, Miss Eversham told Mr Bassi that a psychic had told her a year earlier that she would meet, marry and have two children with a tall, 36-year-old man with an Italian connection, strong values but not much hair. He immediately proposed.

The couple’s understandable enthusiasm for speed dating is shared by growing numbers of Britons. Original Dating, the company responsible for bringing Miss Eversham and Mr Bassi together, is this month increasing the number of events it runs from eight to 15 a month.

Relationship Insecurity

admin — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 08:31:59 +0000

Many people are insecure about something in their lives. If you are or have been in a relationship, I’m sure you have been insecure about it at one point or another. Relationship insecurity is not naturally a reason that you and your partner will break it off, but the insecurity can lead to other problems, so you should make sure everything is alright before going into any other discussions. Many girls are more insecure about something involved in their relationship, many worry about their boyfriend cheating on them with another girl. Guys can definitely be very insecure about their girlfriends also, especially ones who are over protective and clingy to their partners.
Being over protective isn’t a bad thing at all, depending on how deep you go into it. Someone who is flirting with your girlfriend is a natural reason to go after the guy who is doing is, it is however not the most severe reason to do something. If another person is handling your girlfriend in a physical way, then it is definitely right to go after that specific person.

Many people who are insecure will usually worry about their partner doing something when they aren’t around. The insecurity isn’t usually that common when you are on a date. I usually like to know where my girlfriend is at all times, because I worry about her a lot, but I do give my girlfriend her space. Even though relationship insecurity can lead to other problems, being insecure can also strengthen a relationship, especially if the girl enjoys when her boyfriend is protective, you better make sure that she isn’t playing games so that she can watch you in action though.

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How To Say No If You’re Not Interested In Your Date

admin — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 07:44:20 +0000

One of the most uneasy things you probably will do when you start dating is try to say no to whomever it is you are dating. Mentally, this can be quite tough and even though there is probably no connection between you and the other person, you most likely don’t want to upset that person, so what do you do? All in all, the truth hurts sometimes and there is nothing you can do about it, or is there? There are certain ways you can tell somebody that you aren’t interested in them. Limiting your boundaries can really hurt you in the long run and cause mental harm to the other person who might be a lot more interested in you than you are that specific person. If, on the first date you are unsure whether or not you are interested in that other person, you may want to ride it out some more because there are many things to look at on a first date. After all, the first date determines the outcome of a possible relationship and it’s important for most things if not everything to work out in both of your favor.
Unfortunately there are ways these days and those that have been going on for years and years now that really tend to hurt the person who might be more interested in the person who is not interested in them and while these ways might not be ethically correct, they really are in a way. The main way of telling someone you are interested in them is simply avoiding them, not taking their calls, or blowing them off in the short sense. People tend to get the picture after about the second day and while it may hurt a bit, there is really nothing you can do about it.

Since I said that avoiding the person is ethically correct, there are people that abuse these particular ways of saying no. Say you are a girl who isn’t naturally interested in the guy and you keep leading that guy on, that’s something you have to watch out for because if you avoid him, it will hurt a lot in the end. Lying is probably the number one problem that happens from this form of saying no. I have seen girls say yes to a second date, just to make the guy feel better. That’s wrong and you know it, if you aren’t interested, and then don’t say yes to a second date! Use your brain and do the right thing, because you wouldn’t want that happening to you, now would you?

Things You Should Look For If Your Date Isn’t Interested

admin — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 09:48:02 +0000

This occurs a lot more if you decide to join the online dating scene because people look at someone’s picture and they like what they see but what they don’t know is that some people look completely different in person. Physical attraction obviously is a very big deal, otherwise people would be intimate with just about anyone and unfortunately couples enjoy intimacy, so it’s important to know whether or not your date is interested in your or not. When you first meet the person, you will know if they are interested more than likely but it’s not a pure guarantee. As you go throughout the date, there will be signs you will notice and if those signs are negative then you can get a feeling that the date just isn’t going to end well. I tend to think about how the other person might be feeling because I have been in this situation before, me being the person that wasn’t too interested in the girl though.
I would naturally have to put myself in their shoes and think about the possibility that I’d have to be in that situation by going out with someone who I am not physically attracted to. Physical attraction is a funny thing and it’s important to know the basics before something more serious happens and it can really hurt if you get lead on by someone and never hear from them again.

If your date tends to pull away if you try to hold her hand or if you make a move on her and she makes an excuse to get you off of her, that is definitely a sign that she is just not interested. The reason I bring up the girl in this situation is because they are more likely to do this to a guy rather a guy doing this to a girl. Many girls are picky and will look very thoroughly at a guy before she makes her definite decision, this can be risky for you even if you are negative to her in any way. Towards the end of the date, you will find out for sure whether or not the other person is interested in you and to make it a lot easier, you can just end the date on a basic note with no kiss or hug also. If you try and make a final move on the girl and she tells you she doesn’t want to, just let it go because it’s just not meant to be. When you are engaging in online dating, make sure you talk to the girl a lot before you meet, unless you really feel a vibe towards her. The consequences can be painful if you make the wrong decision.

Warning Signs That a Relationship Is Ending.

admin — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 11:11:27 +0000

While no one really wants to hear this news, especially the person it is happening to, it is important to know how to tell that your relationship could potentially be ending. When you are dating, you just know that things are alright if you know him or her like the back of your hand. A few starting signs that may be bad news for your relationship could be the dreaded “him” or “her” never calling you sign. This doesn’t naturally mean that the relationship is ending because there are numerous other signs that have to associate with this sign, but it can be a starting sign. If you the guy or girl are used to the other person calling you and you find that you are calling more than normally then that can be pretty bad. If you find that your partner is being pretty secretive, for instance, if someone calls your partner and he or she doesn’t let you know who they were talking to, this can mean your partner is losing interest in you. Probably the most popular starting sign that triggers the relationship coming to a halt is when your partner would rather hang out with their friends more than you. If you are in love, you normally find time for each other and make time with your friends also, not more than the other.

10 Warning Signs that Your Relationship Is Ending

A couple of more serious signs that can mean your relationship is going downhill include being more critical of your partner and I mean seriously picking on him or her. When a person is highly critical of someone, they can really hurt someone’s feelings and this could definitely be a sign that the relationship is failing, but it isn’t always true. If your friends begin to ask you (the person who is losing the one he or she loves) whether or not everything is alright then you can have a pretty large problem on hand. Your friends are always there for you and they usually notice differences in your personality and the way you act amongst them, take this advice seriously because it can help you if something serious does happen.

While these are major warning signs that a relationship can potentially become unstable and come to an end, it doesn’t mean that it naturally is going to. Warning signs are what I just stated, signs, so don’t take it to heart just because I named the major warning signs. Be sure you try and talk to your partner if you sense something is wrong, if he or she continues to ignore you or fades away then I am afraid it isn’t too great for you. I hope this information helps because it really bites when you lose someone you care about dearly.

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