Online dating article » Speed Dating

Speed Dating Tips for Women (PART II)

admin — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 07:30:59 +0000

Beware of the Signals You’re Giving
Flirting is one of the best, and in the same time, one of the most dangerous things. Know how to differentiate a friendly flirt from a sexual one. If you don’t want anything serious with the man in case, if you just want to meet new people, make sure you give out clear signals, so that he doesn’t misunderstand you in interpreting your flirting signals.
Beware of your words and if you don’t know what to say, better keep silence than say something wrong. And, more of all, don’t just get up and leave! (?!)
Well, imagine yourself something like this (actually, the following has really happened): A man who was a Russian immigrant, with a Philosophy Doctor degree, in spite of this couldn’t find a good job for him, so in the meantime he worked as a cab driver. During his speed date with a woman, she had the worst idea of all to ask him where he worked, and after hearing his answer, she had an even worse idea that that one to get up and go to sit at the bar. It was a clear insult and it was a very wrong thing to do in the circumstances. Even if you find out that the people you have set a date with are not right for you, respect them and make them understand this, they are human beings just as you are!

Dressing Rules
Before wearing any kind of outfit, ask yourself two simple questions: “Would my mother wear this?” and “Would my daughter wear this?”. If the answers are positive, do NOT put it on. The same comes if you have doubts of whether what you’re wearing doesn’t make you look ridiculous-once you have doubts, they probably are based upon something.
These are some rules of the dress code for a speed date:
1. Be very careful in picking up the right outfit for you. If you over dress, you will for sure feel ridiculous and uncomfortable during all your date. This isn’t what you want, is it? Don’t fall into extremes, like ball dresses or sporty pants, better choose a cocktail dress or some stylish smart-casual jeans combined with something alike.
2. Wear clothes that fit you-say no to smaller sizes, that squeeze you like a fish in a tin, it’s bad for your health, and say no to larger sizes too, they will make you look like a sail ship.
3. Now, the shoes. Of course, every normal woman would tend to wear the highest heels she has in order to look the sexiest of all. It’s quite well if you’re taking a cab or take your own car, but think twice before wearing such shoes if you’re taking public transport or, even worse, if you’ll have to walk on feet for a long distance. In these situations, better take some comfortable shoes. After all, you’re going to a date, think of how much you will enjoy it if all you will do is think about the way your feet hurt.
4. The best way to feel sexy is to wear sexy underwear. It’s as simple as that and it’s quite efficient too.
5. Your makeup should be as natural as possible-it should stress all your good parts and not the contrary. Besides, it should be adequate for the occasion and for the time of the day. One of the worst mistakes would be coming to the date with a neck and a face both different in colors. Remember that your aim is to make him think your beauty is natural and not achieved.

Speed Dating Tips for Women (PART I)

admin — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 07:04:15 +0000

Be Adequate
If the place where you have the date is a sophisticated restaurant, with high quality service and the best sorts of food and drinks, make sure you are one with this kind of environment. That is, dress up appropriately for the occasion, look at your best and behave yourself at your best too. If you have problems with dressing for this kind of occasions, click here to see details and advices, and have some guiding for the dressing code.
Be Positive
Positive people always attract everyone for positive energy brings only positive one in turn. So if you want to make a first and good impression, don’t even think of being angry or sad-a positive attitude will do everything for you.
Don’t Give Too Much Personal Information
One of the best, safest, fastest and most fun methods of meeting singles is speed dating. You can keep it that way as long as you don’t give too many personal details, that is your telephone number, last name, email address and so on. Just make sure you leave a sign in front of his nickname in your Fast Impressions folder and if he does the same thing with you, it means you both have an interest in each other and, thus, you will be able to meet again.
Be Yourself
People who pretend to be someone they’re not, who play certain roles as if they were on a theatre scene are not liked by any society. Just be yourself and be proud of who you are, otherwise it means you have some problems with your self-confidence, and you’ll have to solve them before going on. There is a lot of information about it, a lot of books and different courses.
Replace The Question “What Do You Do?” with “What Do You Enjoy Doing?”
Usually the question of “What do you do for a living?” spoils all, a thing related both for women and men (men, in this situation, generally think you want to check how rich they are). Besides, not everyone likes the work he’s doing and not everyone’s proud of it. Instead of this question, why not ask, “What do you enjoy doing?”
Listen to Your Conversation Partner
Almost all people (with little exceptions) like talking about themselves, so showing an interest in them is the best thing you can do. Stop talking only about yourself and ask him questions by the means of which you can find out more things about the man you have a date with.
To bring an example, we’ll tell the story of a conversation of Jay Abrahams (a marketing expert) with a stranger that he met in a bar in Sydney. All he did was to introduce himself, tell the stranger what brought him to that city and then he asked a simple question. He asked the stranger what the last one was doing in Sydney.
Their “conversation” had lasted an hour and, during it, the stranger didn’t stop talking while Jay Abrahams listened to him. At last, the stranger got up to leave and told Jay he was one of the most interesting people he had ever met. Take in consideration that the only words Jay said during the whole conversation were when he introduced himself and the question he put to the stranger!
People are attracted by people that show an interest in them. The conclusion is that, in a conversation, you should LISTEN as much as possible to the person you’re talking to.

Read Speed Dating Tips for Women (PART II)

Speed Dating Tips for Men

admin — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 06:12:57 +0000

Be Yourself
Nobody likes people who pretend to be someone they’re not in reality. Leave playing different parts and roles for yourself and just be yourself, the way you are. Be content with who you are, otherwise you might have some points to work upon.
Be Adequate
If the place where you invite her is a sophisticated restaurant, with high quality service and the best sorts of food and drinks, make sure you are one with this kind of environment. That is, dress up appropriately for the occasion, look at your best and behave yourself at your best too.

Give Compliments, but Don’t Exaggerate
Giving too many compliments will spoil all the magic, so before exaggerating with that, take care of saying the right words at the right time. (That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say compliments at all.)
Be Positive
Positive people always attract everyone for positive energy brings only positive one in turn. So if you want to make a first and good impression don’t even think of being angry or sad-a positive attitude will do everything for you.
Don’t Be a “Space Invader”
There is such a notion as “space invasion” – it’s when one gets too close to the person near him and violates this person’s own space. Some people don’t mind it, others – in contrary – get really angry at such a turn of the events. So, if you don’t know too many things about the woman you have a date with, think twice before touching her. However, a touch of the hands or over her arms won’t do much harm.
Take Care about the Conversation, If You Want to Get a Second Date
If the first date is unsuccessful, don’t wait for a second one. In order for a first date not to be the last one, make sure the conversation you have with her isn’t only about you. If you only talk about yourself and don’t even ask the poor woman in front of you about her, all your further attempts will fail.

Speed Dating Study

admin — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 05:35:03 +0000

For a long time it was stated that when you make someone understand that you like him/her, that person will automatically like you in turn. Well, it was recently discovered that this rule of reciprocal attraction needs to be rectified a little bit for romantic relationships.
The statistics claim that the more you show your romantic desires towards all the people you like, the more they tend to reject you. (Could the reason be the fact that in these cases you look too desperate and obsessed?)

And vice versa, you aren’t usually rejected when you see no other potential partners around you besides the one you desire. (Now, at least this is what calms one down.)
What has been at the base of novels and art through all the times if not the physical chemistry and romance? That’s why social psychologists and all kinds of investigators have spent their time in searching for answers and observing the speed-daters as it was a lot harder observing the romantic attraction at the beginning of a relationship.
Paul W.Eastwick, a graduate student in psychology and the main author of this study, says, ”Unselective potential romantic partners are much less successful than selective partners who show that only you are someone really special for them. Our study consists of letting our speed-daters put all this in practice with a time of only 4 minutes for every date.”
“It’s something astonishing, the way a speed-dater is able to find out in just four minutes to what point the other person likes him and even to what point the speed-dater is unique and special for that person,” Finkel said. “Now this is something we can’t find the answer to for it’s beyond our imagination.”
The experiment which was meant to uncover the mystery of the importance of the first minutes of physical attraction was set up as following: 156 participants (students) had four-minute speed dates with 9-13 persons of the opposite sex. After each date they had to complete a questionnaire where they had to mention if they were attracted physically to the persons of the opposite sex, if they liked them and to what degree.
All the participants have entered the study Web site in the following and they have mentioned which of the persons they speed-dated they would like to meet with again. The ones whose “yeses” were mutual were given each other’s contacts.
Finkel concluded that, “A romantic relationship differs of a friendship by the fact that unlike in a friendship, the “all-loving” persons may seem desperate in a romantic relationship.”
Eastwick’s addition to this was, “That is, when you want to make someone be attracted to you, you will lose if you play the unselective person.”
The final conclusion of this experiment is as it follows from the previously said, “Reciprocity in romantic relationships doesn’t need the same criteria as reciprocity in friendships. It is only acquired when the potential partner is made to understand his unique and special role in one’s life.”

A New Kind of Dating Nowadays

admin — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 21:58:56 +0000

Time has become a social problem nowadays, you often hear someone saying, “I don’t have time for this and that”. Unfortunately, this running out of time is being reflected on our personal life too. One of the solutions to this problem is “speed dating” – a new kind of dating, of which the following article will inform you.
Considering the high rate of divorces among the population and the joint between love and marriage, why reckon dating to be sound and problem less?
Let me introduce you the notion of speed dating, the one that allows one to meet up to ten new people in one single evening.
Each date lasts only seven minutes, that’s why speed dating is so different from other typical meetings of new people. Another major difference between them is that, unlike the meeting of singles in bars, for example, people who use speed dating know perfectly well their objective.

The Game Itself
So what does this game of speed dating consist of? It’s very simple. All the participants (all of them should be single) gather in a certain place, it could be a caf?r something like that. They pair up and begin their dates. The subjects of their conversations exclude their careers and home addresses.
These conversations last only seven minutes each and, at the end of them, the couples are paired differently and the next seven-minutes-dates begin.
After every date finishes, all the speed daters answer on a card to the question whether they would like to meet their date again. And if this interest is reciprocal, the organizers give the telephone numbers to the daters.
Some Words About the Origin of Speed Dating
For the first time, speed dating was organized by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo in 1999, it being based on a Jewish tradition meant to prevent the Jewish singles from marrying people of other faiths except theirs. It consisted of gatherings of young Jewish people. Next, this kind of tradition spread all over the globe.
Speed dating easily substitutes the blind dates and bar scenes, it is much more interesting and resentful.
What Are the Results of Speed Dating?
The results of these speed dates were absolutely positive for approximately half of the speed daters. Some people might say that it’s pretty boring to repeat the same quick conversations several times during the same evening, but it is considered that there also is another reason responsible for the success of the date, that is physical attraction or chemistry, you might call it.
One disadvantage of this new form of matchmaking is that seven minutes is quite a short time to get to know someone. Sometimes, people whom we reject after these seven minutes of speed dating could easily be right for us if we knew them better.
And vice versa-you might have been impressed and enraptured of someone you’ve dated for seven minutes, but after a longer time of knowing each other you realize that this Mr. or Ms.Right is not really as it seems.
In spite of this, speed dating is becoming more and more popular nowadays, achieving new and new points. Could this be a new revolution?

What is Online Dating

admin — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 05:21:39 +0000

One of the most spread ways of meeting new people nowadays, especially in UK, is online dating. It represents an online club, whose members are usually single people, looking forward meeting new ones. Online dating has a lot of advantages, for you can choose your own time and meet whoever you like on this kind of sites.
If you want to join an online dating site, there is something you must do first:
- You should create your own profile online, where you would mention your age, preferences, hobbies, and so on.
- After this, you can upload your photo, if you want people to see your face, but this step is not compulsory.
After creating your profile, you can begin looking for members of the site in your area or just members you have something in common with, and you can send them messages.
One of the many advantages of online dating sites is their privacy and confidentiality-you are not obliged to give away any personal details if you don’t want to. Besides, you dispose yourself about your free time and you communicate with people only as you like!

Is it for me?
Once they find out about online dating, single people usually have two main ways of thinking:
“Why not, do I have anything to lose with it?” or “No way, I’m not that desperate!”
Why Not
People who think like this understand all the advantages of online dating and they don’t see anything bad in it. They simply realize that it’s just another way of meeting new people from your area, with the same preferences as you have and with whom you can contact whenever you want.
No Way!
People who think “No way” to online dating have certain stereotypes of the members of such sites, stereotypes they can’t get rid of. They consider this kind of people not normal, bored (or boring), unsociable, unsure, married and so on, with all the possible defects in the world.
Well, things have changed a lot since the first online dating sites have appeared and it’s important to know that there are all kinds of people, of all the ages, professions and occupations, races attending these sites. So, the most of the people have the “Why not” attitude towards online dating, for they want to enlarge their horizons and knowledge. One of the countries most developed in this aspect is UK. There is absolutely no problem nowadays to find a site alike, which could suit all your needs, it’s just a question of choosing the right one for you. Only then you will find out whether online dating is a good thing or not.

What is Speed Dating?

admin — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 06:43:30 +0000

Speed Dating:

If you’re single and haven’t yet embarked on an evening of speed dating, it’s time to bite the bullet and join the craze. The idea is simple yet effective – meet as many singletons of the opposite sex as you can in one evening – not a bad idea!

The beauty of Speed Dating is its no-nonsense approach. With an equal number of male and female singletons in a bar for an evening, it’s generally a recipe for an entertaining evening one way or another. The general format of an evening is:

the girls make themselves comfortable at a designated table
the guys do the leg work moving around the tables of single girls
each speed date lasts around 3-5 minutes
everyone has a scorecard to jot down notes on the singletons they meet and decide whether to give them a tick or a cross
a break half way through to fill up on drinks and get your breath back
all score cards are handed in at the end of the evening with ticks next to speed daters you would like to hear from again and crosses next to those you don’t
an email from the organisers the next day with details of the dates you ticked and who also ticked you. The rest is left up to you.

Advantages of Speed Dating:

For singles out there, dating couldn’t be made much easier now that speed dating has come along. Put simply, the advantages of speed dating are:….

you’re guaranteed to meet at least 15 single people of the opposite sex in one evening, which beats your average night out in the bar!
everyone is there for the same reason – to meet people – so there’s a good atmosphere, and everyone’s friendly and chatty – no frosty shrug off’s
short dates are the perfect way to meet people and get a flavour for whether or not you like them. A few minutes is long enough to get an initial impression, and short enough to avoid awkward moments if you’ve nothing to say!
after the event, your email address is only passed on to the people you said you liked too, so no awkard moments there.

Disadvantages of Speed Dating:

It’s hard to think of any real disadvantages of meeting a load of other singletons in one evening! At worst, you may come away without having met anyone you were particularly interested in. But chances are you’ve had a sociable night out with a few laughs and some interesting stories to tell your mates the following morning.

For those who find the prospect a bit daunting or nerve racking, the speed dating organisers do a great job of making guests feel relaxed, and sometimes even offer some example questions to stimulate conversation in case you get stuck. Usually, the most nervous of singletons soon warm up and get into it in no time at all.

The best tip of all is not to take it too seriously, go with the flow, and be yourself. Everyone’s in the same boat, so just relax and have fun!

Three-Five-minute speed date has couple rushing to the altar

admin — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 07:06:00 +0000

His claim to make the world’s best lasagna may have closed the deal. Or it could have been his poetry recitals? She was also amused by his doodles of his nasty sporting injuries on a napkin.

Whichever one of his qualities caught her eye, he certainly made an impression. A few text messages, a two-and-a-half-hour telephone call, a dinner date or three and just 20 days later, they became engaged.

When they walk down the aisle for a traditional Catholic service at St Francis Xavier’s in Hereford in August, Mario Bassi and Caroline Eversham will become one of the first couples in Britain to marry after meeting at a speed dating event.

Speed dating involves 20 to 25 single men each being given three-five minutes to woo each of an equal number of single women. Those who later express a mutual interest are put in touch with each other by the organizers.

The phenomenon, an American import, took off among young, wealthy and time-poor Londoners early last year. Now close to 10,000 people of different ages and backgrounds attend events in over 40 British towns and cities every month.

With around 20 couples engaged to marry this year as a result, speed dating is about to leave its novelty status behind to claim a place as a serious and mainstream form of 21st century courtship.

Mr Dassi, from Hereford but of Italian descent, decided to get serious about finding a partner on reaching his mid-thirties, having spent the previous four years focusing on building up his management consultancy business.

He and a friend paid £20 for tickets for an event run in the Zeta cocktail bar at the Hilton hotel in Mayfair, central London.

Mr Dassi, 36, said: “When I saw Caroline there was an immediate physical attraction. She was confident, spoke first and took control.

“We quickly moved beyond the surface level and talked about values such as honesty, empathy and passion which we were both looking for.

“I can honestly say I knew after those three minutes that I wanted to have a long-term relationship with her.”

Miss Eversham, a special needs teacher from Reading, was there with two colleagues from St Mary’s Primary in Islington, north London.

Her first potential suitor spilt his drink over her. “The first two or three encounters were a bit awkward,” she said. “They were nice enough but there were a few too many hedge fund managers in suits.

“I spotted Mario across the room and felt a strong attraction, almost a sense of recognition. The three minutes passed quickly but we covered a lot of ground. I felt thoroughly entertained.”

There followed a modern whirlwind romance involving e-mails, text messages and long telephone conversations.

The relationship blossomed and 20 days later, after a few glasses of wine, Miss Eversham told Mr Bassi that a psychic had told her a year earlier that she would meet, marry and have two children with a tall, 36-year-old man with an Italian connection, strong values but not much hair. He immediately proposed.

The couple’s understandable enthusiasm for speed dating is shared by growing numbers of Britons. Original Dating, the company responsible for bringing Miss Eversham and Mr Bassi together, is this month increasing the number of events it runs from eight to 15 a month.